Bucket List of Things to Do While Engaged!

So you just got engaged – I know you’ve already heard it before, but congratulations! This part of your journey towards marriage is so unique and shouldn’t be taken for granted. It’s the best time for you and your partner to get in alignment on big things, have some adventurous fun, and not sweat the small stuff.

If you are looking for some ideas about how you can spend this time, look no further! As a wedding planner in Los Angeles, I walk alongside so many engaged couples during this time. I promise you, it really can be such a sweet and special time for your relationship to grow and adventure.

Some of these items will be practical things you can do together that will help establish a strong marriage foundation as you walk towards your wedding day together. Some of these items will be whimsical – because we need to remind the world to embrace joy!

Talk about your finances

Time to get down and dirty about your “money story” with your future spouse. How do you relate to money? What were you taught about money growing up? Are you currently a saver or a spender? Do you feel weighed down by debt, or are you set up to financially provide for yourself?

They say most couples fight over finances, so start from a place of wanting to understand where your future spouse learned about money. And be ready for your financial situation to change at any moment as life waxes and wanes.

Learn to cook meals together

You learn a lot about another human being by observing how they operate in the kitchen! I may not be the best (or most patient) cook, but this is the best thing we did while engaged and has continued into marriage. Assisting my husband in meal planning and cooking dinners has given us a mutual love for this time spent together.

Brittanee Taylor Photography

Co-creating together gives a sense of shared ownership, and it allows you to see the other person’s working style when it comes to sorting out challenges and differences of opinion (like if you should stick to the recipe exactly or just “do it by feel” – GUILTY! haha)

Take dance lessons

My husband is not what you would call a “dancer”, and I took dance lessons for 13 years of my life. We didn’t want a completely choreographed dance for our wedding day; we did, however, want to know how to feel the music and move with one another for our first dance. With limited funds, we took to YouTube to look up videos of the Waltz box steps and practiced them together in the comfort of our home. And on our wedding day, we wowed our guests as mid-slow dance we started to waltz together just like in a Disney princess movie!

You could also carve out a piece of your wedding budget and set up a few date nights where you go out for dancing lessons. Whether this is one-on-one with a teacher, or a fun salsa club for experience.

Discuss the future

In 5 years, where do you imagine the two of you will be; in your marriage, in your careers, in your family life, in your spirituality? Time to see where your dreams can take you! This one should probably go at the top of your list of things to do while engaged.

For more topics to discuss and think about prior to getting married, check out our post on 6 ways to know you are ready to get married!

Take engagement photos

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Taking engagement photos is less about the photos and more about the experience! Make a fun date out of this by visiting a place that is meaningful to you. Or you could stay at home and do a fun activity like puzzles or board games.

Taking engagement photos is also a great way to get to know your wedding photographer – and vice versa. It’s important that you feel comfortable around all of your wedding vendors, but especially your photographer. I promise it’s a weight off your shoulder to know that this person has your back and can advocate for you on your wedding day.

Read a marriage book together

Reading together can be a time of bonding between you and your fiancé. Choose a book that will stretch your understanding of marriage or your partner, and will allow you to have open and loving conversations. No need to head to a store to purchase the book, you can always order online or rent the E-book free through your local library! Some suggestions include:

• Becoming Us by Beth + Jeff McCord
• The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
• How To Know a Person by David Brooks
• Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life by Vanessa Marin
• Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud + John Townsend
• Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch
• Fight Right by Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman
• Crucial Conversations by Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny + Ron McMillan

Peterson Design & Photography

Visit with each other’s families

Whether you are taking a long road trip to celebrate a holiday or special gathering, spending time with family during your engagement is a great way to deepen your relationship. It’s important that you talk with your partner about expectations when it comes to how often you visit family, who is involved, and how you talk about each other with your family.

Including your family in the things you do together while engaged can help strengthen the entire familial bond.

Take a ton of selfies together

Set the timer. Primp your hair. And smile! Smiling can be a great remedy in times like these. Did you know that when you use your facial muscles to smile you are reducing your blood pressure, lowering your stress hormones, and boosting your mood!

Do a meditation

Try a new app (like Calm) on your phone. Lookup a YouTube video. Read a passage in the Bible. Think happy thoughts. Be present. Be mindful. Be loving!

Take a class together or start a new hobby

The online world is FULL of professionals who want to impart their wisdom and skill set unto you. Think outside the box when it comes to learning something new and completely out of your wheelhouse. You could:

• Start an in-home garden
• Learn a new language
• Take a Masterclass
• Dive into podcasting
• Create your own board game

Dream about your honeymoon

Start by creating a collage or manifestation board to showcase the style of honeymoon you want to take. Are you looking forward to adventures and exploring, or relaxing by the pool with delicious food and endless drinks?

If you and your partner have different desires, think of this as the perfect first way to compromise. Make sure that each person has a few things they can look forward to on the honeymoon.

Start creating your guest list

Oh, the mother of all holy grails in wedding planning starts with the guest list! In order to know what type of venue to search for, you must create your guest list first. In order to know what type of food budget you have to work within, you must create your guest list first. I recommend these helpful tips:

• Set clear expectations about who gets involved in the process
• Be realistic about how far your budget will stretch when it comes to headcount
• Create your own set of rules for cutting non-essential guests
• Don’t be afraid to create an A-list and a B-list to help you see the full picture

Read reviews of possible wedding vendors together

Practically speaking, the best way to find out if you are a good fit with a potential wedding vendor is by speaking with them. But, you can also learn a lot about how a wedding vendor operates by checking out the reviews past clients have shared.

Don’t just stick to The Knot or WeddingWire – did you know Google offers business pages for clients to post reviews? Also, pay attention to how the vendors respond to reviews, both good and bad, to get a taste for their communication style and customer service.

Practice self-care

Take care of yourself! I’m sure you are feeling all of the emotions all at once, and it’s overwhelming. Find little ways to be in the moment. Make a DIY face mask together, learn how to give massages (yes, there is an online class for this!), take an Epsom salt bath, practice solitude, or snuggle with a pet!

When it comes to wedding planning and finding things to do while engaged, there are still many options. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and celebrate in a way that feels meaningful to you!

If you have anything fun you’d like to add to this list – message me over on Instagram and we can help encourage other couples together!