Top 3 Things to do When Planning a Wedding During a Pandemic

So you find yourself engaged and planning a wedding during a pandemic – don’t panic!

Engaged couples now, more than ever, are falling under the pressure and weight of decisions they are making. It’s not just about celebrating anymore, it’s about the health and safety of loved ones. It’s absolutely okay to not feel ready to make those decisions. And to even feel angry or devastated from all that is happening!

To try and help combat the overwhelm, it’s time to get ahead of the curve and dig a foundation that will help point you back on course when you get off-track!

I’ve got 3 simple things you can do when planning a wedding during a pandemic to bring in peace and confidence as you make decisions.

Erin Marton Photography

1. Get support when planning a wedding during a pandemic

There is nothing better than feeling encouraged and uplifted while making some tough life decisions. This type of support helps us to garner and build our own courage to be able to continue forward on our journey!

It has been scientifically proven that peaceful and positive words trigger a serotonin release into the brain. This doesn’t just help you feel happier, this chemical is also necessary for eating, sleeping, and digestion.

However, encouraging words are not always easy to come by and usually have to be cultivated. It takes time and energy for it to become a more natural part of our human experience. How much time are you willing to invest to get the most peaceful experience out of wedding planning!?

There are 3 important and potential ways you can find support while wedding planning during a pandemic.

Get support from wedding professionals

I will probably keep typing this sentiment until my fingers get callused and fall off – you will save time, money, and energy in the long run by hiring professionals.

A strong vendor team will help guide you to make decisions grounded in your wedding day’s purpose, will encourage you when things seem hopeless, will support your top priorities, and will advocate for your needs on your wedding day when the unexpected issues arises. That’s something you really can’t put a price tag on.

With a wedding professional, you don’t have to worry about what you don’t know because they are there. Most of the time in wedding planning I find that I am opening up windows of possibilities to my couples by helping to take responsibilities and more decision-making off their plate. How do I do this? By encouraging them to hire wedding professionals who know all the ins and outs of their craft.

Erin Marton Photography

Get support from your family + friends

One big thing I learned while wedding planning, was that I could NOT do it alone! I am so thankful for my roommate who told me she was buying me a massage so I could relax. I’m grateful my mom said she would figure out the flowers. And thankful for my dad who built a custom chalkboard sign from a beautiful picture frame.

When planning a wedding during a pandemic, be ready to ask for and generously receive support and help from those around you. Here are some easy, non-invasive ways to invite others into your planning:

• doing research (in-season flowers, rentals nearby, how to tie a bow tie – the possibilities are endless)
• taking on a D-I-T (do it together) project
• planning an engagement party or wedding shower
• inviting them to venue tours
• delegating low priority wedding day elements (for me that was flowers, – I picked the colors and the flower types but had no idea about arrangements lol)

I also want to take time here to recognize that not everyone is going to have a close group of friends or family that they feel comfortable or excited to bring on board the wedding planning train. Relationships can be so many things, and difficult or non-existent can be true for many couples.

If you still want to find connection and support outside of the wedding planning industry, you can find a local or regional wedding planning group online. Facebook is a great place to start. Share a little bit about who you are, where you are planning from, and that you are looking for some mutual support and accountability through the wedding planning process.

Feeling uncomfortable asking to find new friends? Post a question and let the nature of conversation take it from there!

Get support from yourself

Take a page out of Jessica’s book! Her daily affirmation video has been viewed over 20 MILLION TIMES! We are so naturally driven towards the positive and uplifting, it’s hard to be upset while watching a little girl love on her whole house.

Find little ways to support yourself as you make wedding decisions moving forward. Ideas:

• Give yourself a special space you go to for relaxation (a reading corner, cozy warm bath, yoga mat, or even just on the couch with some chocolate)
• Designate 1 day out of the week where you don’t talk about wedding planning
• Find a wedding planning mantra or affirmation that helps you realign and refocus when your vision gets muddled (“This wedding is coming together because we believe in the purpose of celebrating!” or “The wedding decisions that I’m making are good and support us as a couple”)
• Bookmark a specific date for making a big decision and decide on a reward beforehand (a purchase you’ve been eyeing, a nice dinner you didn’t cook, or even a trip to the spa for a massage) that you can enjoy after you follow through

Nothing is worse than feeling like you let yourself down. So start wedding planning with a goal of only speaking to yourself kindly – the way you would speak to a child or a friend.

2. Stay informed when planning a wedding during a pandemic

It’s not news to anyone out there that things have not been the same since the uninvited guest, COVID-19, showed up.

From learning more about health and safety, to making sure you have all your legal ducks in a row, the information has sometimes been a challenge to procure. Here are two ways you’ll want to stay updated with current information that will help guide your decisions should you need to make any adjustments while planning a wedding during a pandemic.

Stay informed on State and County mandates

Every state, county, and city has been handling re-opening in light of the pandemic very differently. It’s important to seek out the most updated pieces of information for the county where you decide to legally get married and celebrate.

And things are constantly changing as new information is discovered and explored. I know it can be really easy to get excited as things start to open up. But remember to read all the fine print on government websites and in release documents to make sure your event will be safe and comfortable for all your guests.

Some great resources to check out include:

• Recent news articles
• Government websites or email lists
• Follow your local health department on Instagram

If you are in Los Angeles, I’ve been compiling a list of the mandates and updates as they come in for how to get married during covid-19!

You can also check the California Events Coalition website for County specific information.

Erin Marton Photography

Stay informed on Venue + vendor policies and contract language

Every vendor is so unique. From their passions to their experiences to the personalities. So it shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone that their contracts will also vary across the board.

I wouldn’t expect a rental facility that is simply dropping off to have the same in-depth contract that a venue employs for a full day of having guests on site. The same goes for an individual performing a specific duty or skill on the wedding day. A wedding planner and a wedding photographer have very different needs (although many overlaps). And different expectations of their interactions and work with their clients. Their contracts will reflect those expectations.

As you plan your wedding during the pandemic, do pay close attention to each vendors contracts and consider the following:

• What is their cancellation policy… if you cancel? What if the event cannot happen safely? If the venue cancels? Or if the vendor needs to cancel?
• What is their postponement policy… Is there a date change fee or a new retainer fee due for a second date? Is there a timeframe you need to book within for services to be rendered?
• What sort of safety protocols must be followed per their contract? Will your guests need to sign any waivers to get on site?
• Who will be on-site for the duration of the event? Does this count against your guest numbers for venue capacity?
• What can void a contract?

If the decision is made to cancel or postpone a wedding, please make sure you treat each vendor’s contract individually. Comparing a venue’s policies with that of a florist isn’t going to make a case as these two vendor’s provide vastly different services! Each conversation you have with a vendor is its own complete transaction with its own idiosyncrasies and personalities at play.

3. Temper your expectations with a dose of reality when planning a wedding during a pandemic

Wedding planning is not a one size fits all process! Each individual has their own personality and way of making decisions they feel confident about. It’s time to lean into that.

Are you the type of person who can adapt quickly and are not thrown off guard by new information and potential changes? Can you implement something last minute without any fuss? Or do you need the time to process changes with feedback from your support system and time to think through all the options?

This is a big and CRUCIAL conversation to have as partners before you even take one step towards planning your wedding. When you know your partners planning style you can create expectations for who will be better to deal with “x” type of problems, and who will soar at making “x” decisions.

Here are three big pivotal moments where decision-making can make or break things when planning a wedding during a pandemic.

Jessie Jean Photography

Make sure you define your top priorities

Some couples know exactly what they want their wedding to look and feel like. Others just know they want to get married. And some have a Pinterest board from the past 4 years that has over 500 pins on it.

It’s time to sit down and draw a map of your wedding foundation. This will be the guide that helps you make decisions that are always in line with your wedding vision.

You’ll want to clearly and carefully define as a couple a few elements of your wedding day:

• Couple style
• Wedding ambiance
• Guest experience
• Budget (expectations vs reality)
• Familial obligations (cultural elements, budget, involvement)

Now you have a framework from which to assess all your ideas and plans. Especially as new items pop onto your radar. Does this new element fit within your wedding ambiance? Does it bring life to the guest experience? It becomes so much easier to say “Yes – this is it” or “No – next option please”.

Based on this foundation you have created, it will also be much easier for you to see WHERE you should invest most of your finances for the best wedding experience that reflects your priorities.

If a weekend guest experience is top of your list, then you know choosing a venue that can accommodate this will be your first priority (and top priority in your budget).

If you want your guests to experience your love of food and entertainment, you should focus more on the catering side of things.

If you are celebrating with a smaller guest list and want your loved ones to be able to experience this joyous “I do’s” from afar, your top priorities will be best focused on your photographer, videographer, and livestream services.

Kindred Weddings and Events includes this phase of planning in all of our full planning and design services. That way we get to know our couples from the very start! This Wedding Foundations Discovery Session is the missing piece to your peace with wedding planning. If you want to learn more about the guide and how it can help you – send me an email (hello@kindredweddingsandevents.com). I’d be more than happy to share how you can start your wedding planning journey off right.

Make sure you take time to process change

If you are a couple whose wedding date was set in stone with a venue booked prior to March of 2020, you know this all too well.

It can be absolutely devastating and mentally immobilizing to have to face the reality that your originally planned wedding may not be able to take place. Whether it’s simply needing to make some new adjustments to logistics and protocols to keep guests safe and healthy, or potentially having to downsize your guest list and postpone your special day – any change is going to take time to process.

All humans have to deal with change at some time in life. It’s so natural to experience the entire spectrum of emotions while planning a wedding during a pandemic. You have been expecting a particular event to occur on a specific date with a definite vision. When that gets turned upside down, you are allowed to feel.

Take time to process through the emotional turns of the stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. And allow yourself to feel and express these emotions in real-time. As stated previously above, make sure you have a supportive group around you who will allow you to be you as you process.

Feelings of guilt or shame are totally normal too as you may sometimes need to process through others changing expectations as well. Don’t forget about the self-care points up above! These will help you to establish some good boundaries as you process.

It’s okay if you feel burnt out, unmotivated, or completely not interested in planning a wedding after a postponement or cancellation!

Make sure you have a plan B (or even a plan C)

If you are a couple just getting started with wedding planning, the best advice I can give is to temper your expectations with the reality that you may need to adjust quickly and indefinitely as you plan.

As you articulate your vision to one another, leave room for conversations about small weddings, backyard weddings, ceremony-only weddings, micro-weddings, and elopements. This doesn’t mean you have to necessarily be on board with all these options. It just means, have the conversation as if this was your only choice at the moment.

Even if you don’t particularly want to do the work of making a plan B, define with your partner what that plan B might look like and what decisions you may have to make.

• What are you willing to compromise on from your original vision?
• What are your non-negotiables?
• What sort of timing matters to you?
• What traditions or cultural impact would be up in the air?

Above all else, take the time to remind yourself – What is the purpose of your wedding day?

This one question can help be the foundation for wedding-related decision-making in a pandemic, as it brings to light the true meaning and purpose of this life event for you.

Planning a wedding during a pandemic will most likely continue to be filled with a lot of unknowns until we come out on the other side. But again, creating a solid planning foundation based on the 3 cornerstones mentioned above can help you soar instead of flounder. I know you want to feel confident instead of unsure. And you want to achieve wedded-bliss instead of planning blunders!

And most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS! If you take away anything from this post, it’s that the wedding industry and your vendors TRULY care about your planning experience and the vision of your wedding day. We will continue to do everything in our power to encourage, guide, and support couples planning weddings with purpose and meaning.

Covid-19 is changing gatherings, including weddings. Once your local government opens venues for events again you’re going to want a wedding planner on your team. Here’s why! To help you navigate:

*downsizing your originally planned wedding

*communicating with your guests 

*distancing guidelines for your ceremony and reception table arrangements

*executing a plan for screening guests + vendors for symptoms

*finding the best location for your event that provides ample space

*proper cleaning +sanitizing regulations

*coordinating safe food practices with your caterer

*logistics of entertainment and equipment

*crafting a timeline that allows for intimate moments and a guest experience that captures your personalities

*working with your photographer to ensure wedding memories that prioritize safety

I’m ready to listen and waiting for you to inquire! Because you don’t have to work on all of this on your own. While this is a new journey for everyone involved, Kindred Weddings and Events is here and ready to virtually hold your hand through all of it!