Your best girl is getting married! Cue the waterworks, pop the champagne, and start writing your toast! You may not be the one doing all the wedding planning. But when the bride pops the “Will you be my Maid of Honor?” question, you will definitely be thankful you are prepped. Get ready to fill those shoes and stand by her side on the big day as we share how to be the best maid of honor and keep your bride sane!
Shower the bride-to-be with compliments, hugs, and a wedding magazine or two. Hell yeah, she’s getting married, what a joyous time to celebrate with her! As you start out on this journey, recognize that you might want to do things differently. That’s totally okay! But this is your best friend’s wedding and she is entitled to do things her way.
A great way to remind yourself of this is to embrace all the things you could possibly be thankful for with a gratitude list:
This will help focus you and keep your spirits high throughout the event. You want to be happy and enjoy the celebration!
This might mean attending some of the wedding appointments (dress, food tasting, venue tours, etc) or helping with finding vendors. Your bride might need someone to vent to about a situation, or someone to help walk her through finding her personal bridal style.
Or maybe she just needs to chat about anything else to get her mind off the wedding as she nurtures her relationships! Don’t forget you can still have some girl time and hangout without the wedding looming over every conversation.
On the wedding day, don’t wander off! There are so many pieces of the wedding you get to enjoy as a guest. But make sure you stick around for all the important pieces as the MOH. Getting ready pictures, helping with the couples photos (seriously an extra hand is very HANDY), the bridal party grand entrance, toasts/speeches, the epic send-off, etc. Become best friends forever with the wedding planner or coordinator, then you will always know when and where you should be!
It may seem like things are moving slowly, you are bored, or you might be helpful elsewhere. But trust me, the bride needs you by her side even to just smile at her and remind her how beautiful she is.
Don’t just ask “can I help with something”? Get really specific so you can be the best maid of honor. “Can I get you something to eat?” “Is there anything else I can run out and get for you that might have been forgotten?” “Do you want some time alone to relax?” – specific questions are easier to answer. They will help the bride’s mind relax instead of sending it whirring looking for an answer and solution.
It’s also best to remember to ask before you assume the bride wants something done a certain way. Each bride is different. Some may want more control, less control, or may have an idea of how she would like you or the bridesmaids to help out.
Lace and Lapel Photography
Over time, friendships do change. They evolve, grow stronger, wane, and get mixed up in a lot of emotions. During this time, you will also have your own life stuff going on and those moments are also important. If need be you can take the time to protect them. But remember this is also your friend, who loves and cares for you and wants to support you as well.
Maybe set up the extension of a safe space to talk. Be ready to extend grace to your bride when communication gets jumbled. Take the time to ask for clarification when you feel out on your own. Be ready to assume positive intentions when you are hurt.
Specifically for the bridal party! Make sure that the bride’s opinion/wishes are not being thrown aside for someone else’s desires. Support the bride from within the group and help smooth over any issues that arise if possible before involving the bride.
Help get the bridesmaids involved in even the little things so everyone feels like part of the special day. Don’t be afraid to delegate! I repeat, DO NOT take on all the responsibilities yourself. Also, help communicate information to the bridesmaids from the bride. This might include hair appointments, dress color, date & time of rehearsal so everyone is on the same page.
Plan (or co-plan with the bridesmaids) the bachelorette party. The previous point applies here. Make sure that you are incorporating what the bride wants to do for her night out. Not what someone else thinks is cool. If she really wants to have a spa day then treat her to a relaxing oasis. But if she wants to go out on the town, dress up and party on!
Many of the bridesmaids may have never met before, so you could also plan a way to meet-up before the wedding date. If not, a Facebook group where everyone can discuss and share the role they have taken on is a good idea too. Be ready to pitch in together; it takes a village!
Haley Rynn Ringo Photography
If this is the first time you’ve been asked to be part of a bridal party, you are going to have such a fun time! Yes, it’s one part hard work, one part relationship guru, and one part party planner. You can absolutely be the best maid of honor for your bride in ways unique and special to her by being open to communication and quick to extend grace and understanding.
Looking for more help for your bride?? As a wedding planner and designer I’ve been sharing tons of my top tips and tricks over on the blog. And if she needs a hand to hold her through the wedding planning process send her my info so we can work together.
send a note: firstname.lastname@example.org
Kindred Weddings and Events is a Los Angeles intimate wedding planner
ready to elevate all your relationships!