People say the most stressful thing one can do is plan a wedding!
The to-do lists, the feelings you don’t want to hurt, the money flying out the window, the vision you so desperately want to achieve, the family members who keep telling you how you are “supposed to” do things! It’s enough to make you want to elope!
But let me tell you, you can have it ALL – absolutely STRESS-FREE! It’s all about setting expectations & not letting fear into your planning process.
This is going to be part of a larger blog post series on managing stress during wedding planning & on the wedding day. Let’s start with the people you have in your life & how you can best set up your relationships to thrive during this time of change, distractions, and pressures.
As you begin your wedding planning journey, it’s crucial to make sure you and your soon-to-be-spouse are on the same page. Take time to sit down and discuss your expectations for the actual wedding day, a reasonable budget, who you want to marry you two, a potential guest list, and if you can afford a wedding planner to hand things over to when the time is right so you can enjoy your wedding like a guest. Communication is key when it comes to having the real wedding of your dreams, not just the kind that makes pretty pictures worthy of pinning on Pinterest.
Make sure you surround yourself with understanding people. If you have a friend who is constantly venting about all the drama in their life, or who has consistently not shown up for you in times of need, it might be a good idea to think deeply about if you want that kind of vibe around you while wedding planning. You want to have friends around you that are soothing, will help shoulder the burdens, will take the time to listen and offer support, and aren’t always asserting their opinions or judgments about your choices. This also applies to vendors too – do your research and really ask yourself if these vendors reflect the same vibe and if they will be a joy or a regret on your big day.
Now that you’ve got yourself a “bride tribe” that you can depend on, be ready to let them know when you need help! Find out what your friends and family are really good at and delegate smaller items to them. This is also a good time to set their expectations, which might sound like a strange concept. Everyone has their own idea of what a wedding should be, but this is your day. To help avoid confusion or hurting someone’s feelings let people know upfront anything special, important, or different you are doing for your big day so they know what to expect.
When you know you’ve got a bigger task in front of you that you cannot tackle on your own, call in the professionals. Hiring someone who cooks for a living can help you gauge how much actual food to have at your event. Allowing an artist to capture the sweet in-between moments will give you priceless memories that you hang up in your home and pass down for generations. Handing over your wedding checklist on the big day will give you room to breathe and be in the moment without having to check a clock to make sure things are happening on time. Sometimes it’s hard to articulate what you want, so it’s also important to show your vendors what it is you want. Be open, be honest – the more information you give to those around you, the more things will start to fall in place.
No wedding is perfect. Little things fall through the cracks, but that doesn’t mean your wedding isn’t absolutely perfect for you! Let go of your expectations of things looking a certain way (yes, I’m even talking about your expectations of losing a few pounds)! Instead maintain perspective by focusing on loving yourself, spending quality time with your forever love (and NOT talking about the wedding), and building a solid foundation for your marriage where decisions are made together, where trust is highly sought after, and forgiveness is never a question.
Happy planning sweet couples!